You Have Two Choices When It Comes to Valentines Day

For many years, I’ve been a huge cynic when it comes to Valentines Day.

Photo Credit: Nishanth Jois, Creative Commons

It didn’t matter if I had a significant other or not (although the cynicism would grow in relation to my relational unhappiness). My argument was built around commercialization and consumerism and superficiality and how we shouldn’t need a designated day of year to remind us to demonstrate love to those we truly care about.

True love and care was demonstrated in spontaneous and authentic ways all year long.

I had my whole rant.

Then, a few years back, just before I got married, I was sharing with a friend my theory about Valentines Day. It started with the price of roses and morphed into a bit about Hallmark, and I was just getting ready to launch into my spiel about Target when she stopped me. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit disappointed.

(After all, I was just getting revved up).

But in the most beautifully blunt way possible—a way of relating that, with her smallness of stature and brightness of personality, she was so gracefully able to manage—she said:

“Look, the way I see it is—you have two choices when it comes to Valentines Day.”

“You can either be cranky and miserable about it, or you can enjoy it for what it is. And, if you choose to be cranky and miserable, I’m not going to feel sorry for you, and I’m not going to hang around while you feel sorry for yourself.”

The words look harsh when I type them here in black and white, but honestly, they didn’t sound quite so harsh coming out of her mouth. Like I said, she has this way about her. And I suppose the other reason her words didn’t sound too harsh to me is because I knew she was right.

Her words weren’t just true about Valentines Day. They were true about every day.

They weren’t meant to hurt me. They were meant to help.

That moment was a huge wake-up call for me.

It was so simple, honestly. But at the same time, it was totally profound. What she was saying wasn’t just a lesson about Valentines Day. It was a lesson about every day—and what happens to those numbered and precious days we’re given when we choose to complain about them and feel sorry for ourselves.

We waste them away. We waste away ourselves.

We’re left behind and left out.

Of course there are a thousand things to complain about when it came to Valentines Day. There are a thousand things to complain about any day. I can complain that I didn’t have a significant other. I can complain that I do (and he isn’t doing what I want). I can complain about the system or the expectations or “the way things work.”

But while I am busy complaining, everyone else will be enjoying themselves.

Everyone else will be moving forward, moving on with their lives.

And slowly my life will pass and I’ll never get what I really want. I won’t ever know what I really want. I won’t invest in anything that lasts or matters. I’ll be too tired from all of my complaining.

I’ll be too lonely (because who wants to hang out with someone who can’t stop feeling sorry for themselves?)

So when it comes to this Valentines Day—and every day that follows—the way I see it is this: You and I have two choices. We can either be cranky and miserable, or we can make the most out of it—put our hands to the plow and create what we really want.

If you choose cranky and miserable, that’s your choice.

I think you’ll regret it. I think you’ll get bored, and tired, watching your life pass…


No, seriously, we can be friends...we can email back and forth and everything! :) 

Please enter your name.
Please enter a valid email address.
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.
Posted in

Allison Fallon

I write books. I help people write books. I believe a regular practice of writing can change your life.

11 thoughts on “You Have Two Choices When It Comes to Valentines Day”

  1. Well said Allison, not harsh at all. We all need to hear the truth. How we accept it is up to us. I plan to and make an effort to enjoy each day for what it is, another gift from God.

    Have a Tremendous Thursday and Valentine’s Eve!

  2. That’s how I feel about people complaining about the cold in winter, rain in spring, heat in summer, and wind in fall. These are the only seasons of life we have.

  3. Its like you learn my mind! You seem to understand a lot approximately this, like you wrote
    the ebook in it or something. I think that you
    just can do with a few p.c. to power the message home a little bit, however
    instead of that, that is wonderful blog. A fantastic read.
    I will certainly be back.

  4. Hey! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog.
    Is it tough to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick.
    I’m thinking about setting up my own but I’m not sure where
    to start. Do you have any points or suggestions?

  5. Hi! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so I came to look it over.
    I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m book-marking and
    will be tweeting this to my followers! Excellent blog and amazing design and style.

    It is a very hard situation when playing the lottery and never won, or keep winning low fund not up to 100 bucks, i have been a victim of such a tough life, the biggest fund i have ever won was 100 bucks, and i have been playing lottery for almost 12 years now, things suddenly change the moment i came across a secret online, a testimony of a spell caster called dr emu, who help people in any type of lottery numbers, i was not easily convinced, but i decided to give try, now i am a proud lottery winner with the help of dr emu, i won $1,000.0000.00 and i am making this known to every one out there who have been trying all day to win the lottery, believe me this is the only way to win the lottery.

    Contact him on email Em*******@gm***.com
    What’s app +2347012841542

  7. Hey! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after
    reading through some of the post I realized it’s new to me.
    Nonetheless, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back often!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

4 × three =

Feeling Stuck? Join 10,000+ others for Monday Motivation

Inspiration for your writing (and your life) delivered directly to your inbox every week.

Please enter your name.
Please enter a valid email address.
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.
Scroll to Top

My new book is available for pre-order!

Discover the power of (finally) getting unstuck, claiming your clarity, and becoming the person whose life you want to live—all through a simple self-care practice you can build into your daily routine.