What You Need to Know Before You Push Through the Pain

I wrote this years ago—just a few months after my divorce was final, right as I was letting go of the last remnants of my old life. I never intended to share it. I forgot it about, in fact, and stumbled across it the other day. But I wanted to share it with you today as a reminder as you try to push through the pain that your pain may be trying to tell you something.

It’s been a hell of a week. Work pressures pushing in, commitments I made months ago that are feeling weightier now, people are depending on me, expecting me to show up at my best, and then there is me, still a little weary from what I’ve been walking through the last year—the divorce and the shattering of this old life and the rebuilding from scratch.

I am still finding days where I don’t quite feel like myself—hell, still finding days where I don’t even know who “myself” is, or when grief crashes over me with such a big and unexpected wave, I forget it’s been a year since my life fell apart.

It almost feels like yesterday.

I moved all of my stuff into a storage unit last week.

Movers came and helped me do the whole thing. That part wasn’t hard. I don’t mind packing and organizing. It’s a good break for my brain—the simplicity of it—after sitting at a computer all day and trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe, which mostly entails figuring out the mysteries of my own heart and brain.

So again that part, the moving part… that wasn’t hard.

Three burly men showed up all stiff and professional, introducing themselves to me formally with a handshake, and by the end of the day we were all laughing about how I wrote a book called Packing Light and I still have so much stuff.

The hard part was really the idea that I’m doing this again… feeling upended, uprooted, like I’m unattached and floating and wondering where I might land.

This is such a familiar feeling. Such a terribly familiar feeling.

Then there are those moments where I stumble across something I didn’t know I was going to find and suddenly it’s like I’m back there—in the moment, the sea of moments where I’m invisible and terrified and wishing for a way out. There are moments where I am wondering what I have done wrong and why nothing I tried would fix any of it. Fix him. Fix me so he could love me. Fix me so I could love him.

Physical items have this way of doing that to us. Sentimental items. Homes. Spaces and places and cities.

They hold the energy for us of times passed and as we release them we have the opportunity to release the attachments they represent.

So that part was hard. Releasing all the attachments.

Also, randomly—maybe from all the walking up and down the stairs in a pair of shoes that were ill-advised for moving—I got a blister on my heel. It was a small blister. Really not a big deal. It barely hurt. Or at least that’s what I told myself. After all, I had to get through this move. Once everything was over, then I could focus and dealing with the pain on my heel. Then I could take care of it with some antiseptic and a bandaid and maybe even some epsom salts.

After. That’s when I could take care of myself. That’s when I could face the pain. After I shored up all the leaks. After I impressed everyone.

This is my usual approach, by the way. Push through the pain. It feels so inconvenient in the moment to actually deal with it. Pain feels so in the way. So like the obstacle I have to get past so I can get the thing I want.

So I can pretend like I’m “totally okay”.

But pain is always trying to tell us something.

It has messages for us, if we will listen. When we miss what our pain is whispering to us, we miss everything.

I did that thing I normally do: push through the pain. All day. That worked for awhile. I made it through the move and got everything into a storage unit and rested in my own personal sense of accomplishment. Then, the next morning, I had a conference in town where I was speaking, so I got out of bed and pulled myself together and got dressed and put my shoes on—again, another ill-advised pair of shoes—and that was when I first really noticed it.

REALLY NOTICED IT.

But, instead of doing what the pain was asking me to do, I told myself, this was only one day. It wasn’t that big of a deal. I could do this. I was strong. I hunkered down and tried to pretend like I wasn’t limping and was on my feet in heels for eight hours that day, parking blocks away from the event, walking, standing, talking, and more pretending like I wasn’t in pain.

I’m really so very good at pretending like I am not in pain.

Aren’t we all?

I swear I’m telling you this for a reason that doesn’t have anything to do with my foot problems.

The next day I signed closing papers on my house.

This was the last of my attachments to my old life.

I cried through the whole meeting, but they were good, happy, cleansing tears, the kind of tears that tell you this hurts like hell but you know you’re moving in the right direction. The kind of tears that tell you you’re finally free again. So I cried those tears and the agent sitting across from me asked if I needed to take a break and I told her, no, all I really needed was this.

Exactly what I was doing.

To just let myself feel the pain of it. For just a minute I needed to be not okay.

This is the only way to let go. The only way to move forward.

She handed me a box of tissues and I cried and signed a bunch of papers and then I was on my way again. The rest of the day I spent running errands and setting up a wedding shower for a dear friend of mine, who has fought in the best kind of way for the man she is marrying, and he has fought for her, and that’s all I could think about as I went to go pick up balloons and coffee and ice and as we arranged food and tassel garlands around another friend’s house.

I couldn’t think about the pain in my foot, or the pain in my heart.

All I could think about was how beautiful it is when you see somebody really fight for something they want, and when they finally reach a point where it seems like their hard work has paid off.

It’s always such a gift and an honor to celebrate these stories.

It seems they are Indestructible.

I’ve had people ask me if it’s hard for me to go to weddings and baby showers now. The short answer is yes. In fact, a dear friend of mine recently had a baby shower, and I was in the car and ready to go—all dressed up and make-up on and everything, the sweet little girl gift sitting in the back seat—but before I could even back out of the driveway the tears started coming and no matter how hard I willed them, they would not stop, and I never made it out of that driveway.

Instead, I went back inside and sat by myself and just let myself cry.

That’s what I needed. To just let myself feel the pain of it.

To stop trying to push through the pain and to listen to what the pain was telling me.

But that part of the story is still all the short answer—which is that YES it’s hard, of course it’s hard, the same way it is hard for anybody who has watched something slip from their grasp, something crumble, without their permission. The way it would be hard for a woman who lost a child to stand at a playground and listen to the laughter of the other children. Of COURSE it’s hard. But it is also, in a way, healing, because it reminds me that there is still pain, and pain is not a bad thing.

Pain is a reminder that we are alive.

Pain is always telling us something.

It’s always pointing us toward the healing we are craving.

That night I put my shoes on for the party.

Which was when I realized the pain was bigger than I had once thought. It was perhaps too big for me to handle. But wait, no, if I just favored my right side a little bit, I could make this work. I wouldn’t have to walk that far thankfully. And besides, the most important thing was to LOOK GOOD, to KEEP THINGS TOGETHER.

That was the most important thing I could do, wasn’t it?

It was just a little bit of pain. I could handle it.

The night was glorious and beautiful in every single way. So beautiful I forgot about the blister for most of it.

It wasn’t until the commotion started to die down and people began to leave and I went into the bedroom to check my phone that I realized how much pain I had been in all along. So much pain. Way too much pain. Now the pain wasn’t just the blister, but it was radiating all the way up my ankle and into my leg. The bandaid I had put over the top of the blister to cover it was soaked with blood… and well… I’ll just leave it at that for the sake of you keeping your breakfast down.

But what I realized was that the blister was now infected, and the infection was radiating away from the original place of pain. It was growing and moving and getting bigger and bigger and screaming louder.

This is what happens to pain when we ignore it, by the way.

It doesn’t go away, as we once hoped. No. It gets louder and louder and more aggressive until we start listening. It does this because it loves us. Because it’s JOB is to point us toward what is good for us.

It’s literally BEGGING us to do what is good and healing.

It’s odd to me to think about this, this morning as I am lying in bed and thinking about our beautiful night last night, that beautiful moment of being together. It’s odd to me to think about how you can be in so much pain and also be in exactly the right place. Exactly the place that you are supposed to be in. It’s odd for me to think about what my pain might have been trying to whisper to me last night, what it is trying to whisper to me now, this morning.

It’s strange for me to think about how long pain has been whispering, and how long it has taken me to listen.

I’ve not been good at this in the past—at listening, at slowing, at hearing what the pain is trying to tell me—but that’s okay. I’m am getting there. The woman in me who thought she could fight her way thought the pain is also the woman who saved me.

She is the woman who has become strong enough, through all of this fighting, to be soft now.

She is the one who is letting go.

If you’re ready to hear what the pain is trying to tell you, try a practice of journaling. Sign up for free, thoughtful writing prompts, every Monday in your inbox, to help you experience the physical, emotional, and psychological benefits of a regular practice of writing. 

 

 

I believe a regular practice of writing directly impacts my ability connect with myself. Not convinced? 

Don’t feel like a “real writer”? I get it. But I disagree.

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Allison Fallon

I write books. I help people write books. I believe a regular practice of writing can change your life.

44 thoughts on “What You Need to Know Before You Push Through the Pain”

  1. Thank you for this….I shared it with a friend as well! If you have another “unstuck workshop” I would love to go! Tracy

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      Carl Vanny .
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  2. Very inspiring article! I couldn’t imagine the pain you’ve experienced in the last few months but I do hope that you continue to get better and better each day. Good luck on your journey! 🙂

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  9. Most people get into a marriage with high and full spirits. They know full well what they are getting into and accept this with an open heart. While you may say that there is a lot of hype in marriages especially on the days leading up to the wedding day, it can get a bit frustrating to have a misunderstanding in your relationship. I have been through hell with my husband for a very long time. With the help of the great spell caster, I was able to resolve my marriage issue and now I finally find happiness in my marriage. For anyone going through any kind of relationship issue or you like to get back with your ex, I will suggest getting in touch with the best relationship advice specialist that will bring happiness back into your home. You can get in touch with The Great Dr.Jumba relationship and affair advisor on WhatsApp: +27651108524 or wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com . He is always ready to help people and bring back happiness into your life.

    Website : https://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com

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  16. MOST POWERFUL AND TRUSTED LOVE SPELL AND LOTTERY SPELL CASTER ONLINE 2022

    Dr Jumba is the only spell caster I trust and believe me I’ve seen many. He is honest, genuine and straight to the point which I love. He’s given me so much evidence over the years that my loved ones are always with me. For me it’s the detail. Pieces of information that can’t possibly come from anyone else. ♥️ I can’t recommend Dr Jumba highly enough ♥️ check out this YouTube channel and website to know more about Dr jumba : : https://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com , https://youtu.be/kBvs5nQcjWo

  17. Hello my name is Sally my fiance broke up with me last week i was so sad I changed completely, I wasn’t eating and i wasn’t talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I was so depressed and stressed out that I was scared I’m going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever then i found a powerful spell caster Called Priest Ade that he solved so many relationship problem then Priest Ade told me he will come back to me between 24hrs after he cast spell on him never believe it until my finance called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back and live happily together forever , Am so happy now that Priest Ade help me bring my finance back to me. Thanks so much Priest Ade he can also help you Email him at

    ancientspiritspellcast@yahoo.com or ancientspiritspellcast@gmail.com
    https://ancientspiritspell.wordpress.com
    WhatsApp +234 905 472 7023

  18. MOST POWERFUL AND HONEST SPELL CASTER ONLINE , THANKS DR LARRY FOR YOUR PERFECT LOVE SPELL . i want to testify of a powerful spell caster who return my ex boyfriend, it all started when i took his phone and saw a lady message him that she enjoyed the last time and i confronted him about it he was angry and and stop talking to me from that day he started acting strange then he told me he didn’t want me anymore that he loves someone else i was so diver-stated i cried all day and night he blocked me from his Instagram and on phone so i couldn’t reach him anymore this made me sad and cry even the more i was searching for help online when i saw a comment about Dr Larry great work i contacted him and told him about my problems and i did everything he asked me to do he told me after 24hrs my ex will return back to me well i doubted him though because my ex didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore the next day to my greatest surprise he called me and was begging me to give him another chance now we are both happy together all thanks to Dr Larry he can also help you Dr Larry contact info below . assurancesolutionhome@gmail. com or whatsapp him on +1(424)-261-8520. https://assurancesolutionhome.blogspot.com website http://assurancesolutionhome.website2.me/ youtube https://youtu.be/4shxcyUlqtg https://www.facebook.com/assurancesolutionhome/

  19. GREAT THANKS TO DR TRUE LOVE SPELL CASTER FOR HELPING ME WHEN I NEEDED HELP.

    I am so happy to testify about a great spell caster that helped me when all hope was lost for me to unite with my fiance that i love so much. Am from Chicago and my name is Avery Lindsey, I had a fairy tale kinda love story and everyone around me call me the lucky one for having such a sweet love life but even the best love story can still go sour, before things went south I tried my best to make things work with everything that I can think of but thing still keeps going south. breakup is a bitch and dealing with life was difficult and everyone see you like an object of pity. I desperately had to do something and that was when i was introduced to this spiritual home, I was told once that if you need it bad enough you will go for it. i came across many spell casters but they promised and nothing came up but an African friend who was my neighbor introduced me to Dr TRUE LOVE and i emailed him with his email : Truelovespellcaster1@gmail.com and he replied me so kindly and help me get back my lovely relationship that was already gone for 4 months. At first his instructions sounded barbaric but I followed them and inexplicable results happened within 72hrs, Am so happy and all thanks to Dr TRUE LOVE SPELL CASTER for helping me with his white love powers. If you have any kind of problem email him now for help with Truelovespellcaster1@gmail.com

  20. URGENT AND EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL CASTER TO HELP YOU GET BACK YOUR EX LOVER VERY FAST 2022 Contact DR LARRY WhatsApp  +1(424)-261-8520 
    I am Laura Peggy  from (ALABAMA). When I eventually found testimonies about this spell caster Dr Larry, how he helped many people to get their lovers and broken homes back, I contacted him too because I was absolutely desperate to get my lover back. Life without my lover was a real mess for me and my kids. I wanted a dramatic change and I thought a love spell could be the solution. After discussing the resolution with Dr Larry, he gave me hope that he will restore my relationship. I felt confident that he would actually make my lover return home and he did! It’s fantastic what this great spell caster has done for me, his help is priceless! I don’t know what I would have done without Dr Larry, He does his job well so he is organized and highly functional, i believe he is the best spell caster I can count on when it comes to all kinds of spells. I am so happy that my lover returned home. If you need help, contact him right now through these details below: Email: assurancesolutionhome@gmail. com https://www.facebook.com/assurancesolutionhome/ WhatsApp +1(424)-261-8520  Website: http://assurancesolutioncenter.website2.me/  

  21. I suffered from what they called peripheral artery disease (PAD). I have been suffering for years, Me and my wife searched for a medical cure, and then we came across a testimony of a man who suffered the same and was cured by Dr Chief Lucky. So my wife and I contacted Dr Chief Lucky via an email and thank God he replied. I explained what was wrong and he sent me herbal medicines that helped heal me completely. I am happy to say that herbal medicine is the ultimate and Dr Chief Lucky I am grateful. You can contact him on his email: chiefdrlucky@gmail.com or whatsapp: +2348132777335, He said that he also specializes in the following diseases: ALS, CANCER, HPV, HERPES, DIABETES, HEPATITIS B, HIV, And more.

  22. worked for me! It worked just like I thought it would. It was easy enough and I just want others to know when something works. My husband and I have been married for about 4 yrs now. We were happily married with a 2yrs old son. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone. He started coming home late from work, he hardly cares about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn’t even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should try him out. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and I did it and he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promised never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. My family and I are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Unity. If you have any problem contact him and I guarantee you that he will help you.
    Here’s his contact:
    WhatsApp him at: +2348055361568 ,
    Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,
    His website:http://unityspelltemple.website2.me

  23. The greater the pain, the stronger the growth. Pushing through the pain is a mind game. We all know what to do, yet most of us fail to do it. There are three factors to consider: (1) Mental toughness. To do what you know you must do in spite of the pain. (2) The pain/pleasure principle. The likely hood you’ll do something is directly proportionate to it’s discomfort vs. pleasure. (3) The power of momentum. The tendency to keep on doing something that is already being done. Source pay someone to do my essay for me

  24. Even though I was reluctant to buy this product immediately because of fear and doubts, I eventually did and it worked for me. My herpes has been cured permanently and I was tested negative. I conducted the test severally after completing the medication and all test results read negative. It is one of the best decisions I have ever made, just give it a trial. You’re almost there”contact drokonsolutionspell@gmail.com or WhatsApp him on his cellphone number+2348051145606

  25. My boyfriend left me for another girl for some silly reasons. He keeps telling me that I am nothing to him. He said he wants to be with the other girl. that he has no feeling for me anymore. This started more than one month ago. By this time he also speaks to me but not in his own mood or to rebuild our relationship. He does so because I request him to be with me at least for some hours or some minute… we talk only once …but I can’t stay without him. I want him back.. I was really worried and I needed help, so I searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Lord Zuma can help get ex lover back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do, and I did it then he did a Love spell for me. Some hours later, my boyfriend really called me and told me that he misses me so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day, with lots of love and joy, and he apologized for his mistake, and for the pain he caused me when he left. Then from that day, our relationship was now stronger than how it was before, All thanks to Lord Zuma. he is so powerful and I decided to share my happiness on the internet that Lord Zuma is real. if you are here and you need your ex lover back or save your marriage fast. Do not cry anymore, contact Lord Zuma now. Here’s his email: spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or WhatsApp him: +1 506 800 1647
    https://www.facebook.com/lordzumazuk

  26. I was introduced to this sincere ethical hacker ‘ hackingloop6@ gmail. com, and he delivered an excellent hacking service. If you Need a hacker for general ethical hacks? specialized hacks, hack into work and private email accounts(gmail, yahoo, aol etc.), spy on a cheating spouse, change online banking passwords, access passwords to safety deposit boxes,gain access to various social networks (such as facebook, twitter, instagram, badoo etc.), specialized and experienced hacking into educational institutions, change of grades, clearing of criminal records, hack blogs, get a new job without applying, clear credit card debts, drop money into credit cards, smartphone mobile hacks and the likes. Reach out to hackingloop6@ gmail .com also call or text/WhatsApp him on + 1 (484) 540 – 0785, he is a legit and reliable hacker, his services are affordable.

  27. POWERFUL SPELL CASTER WHO CAN HELP YOU WITH LOVE SPELL TO GET YOUR EX LOVER BACK URGENTLY AFTER BREAKUP/DIVORCE EVEN IF YOUR SITUATION SEEMS HOPELESS! CONTACT DR CHRIST: CALL/WHATSAPP: {+2348111123690 OR EMAIL: LIGHTERDAYSENT@GMAIL.COM} DR CHRIST IS CERTAINLY THE BEST SPELL CASTER ONLINE AND HIS RESULT IS 100% GUARANTEE.

    Hello everyone my name is BRENDA LIAM i want to give a testimony to the Gods of DR CHRIST for helping me to get my ex back. After 3 Years in a relationship with my Husband, my Husband started going out with other girls and showing me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to divorce with me if I dare question him about his affair with other girls, I was totally devastated and confused until an old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet DR CHRIST who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love Spells, At first I doubted If such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, When I contact him, he told me everything I needed to do and I did and he helped me cast a Love Spell and within 24Hours my boyfriend came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with girls and he is with me for good and for real. Contact this Great spell Caster for your relationship or marriage problem. 
    Here’s his contact.. CALL/WHATSAPP: {+2348111123690 OR EMAIL: LIGHTERDAYSENT@GMAIL.COM}https://www.facebook.com/Dr.christlightersent/

  28. URGENT AND EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL CASTER TO HELP YOU GET BACK YOUR EX LOVER VERY FAST WHATSAPP +2348124644470

    My Name is Micheline Peric from Ireland, I want to say thank you to PRIEST WISDOM for the good thing he has done for me,Though am not sure if this is the best forum to show my joy and happiness for what he has done for me but i can’t hide happiness and my Joy so i have to share it with people, my marriage got crashed about two years ago and i tried all i could within my power but to no avail. I saw a post and testimonial about the good things PRIEST WISDOM has been doing so I decided to give it a try. though he is always a busy man but when he responded back to my email, he gave me 24hours for my marriage to be restored really just like he said my marriage was restored since then I am happy and i am living happily i am so grateful, PRIEST WISDOM you can always email him here: Supernaturalspell1@gmail.com or WHATSAPP / cell phone +2348124644470 or view his blog his web page https://supernaturalspell21.blogspot.com/ or go to his page https://web.facebook.com/watch/PRIESTWISDOM11/ ….”;’;’;…

  29. Advice to save your marriage and get your Ex Boyfriend/girlfriend back ,contact drogagalovespell@gmail.com or WhatsApp +2347059387282 for Urgent effective love Spell to get ex lover back or save you marriage fast and his result is 100% guarantee.

    I want to give thanks to Dr Ogaga for bringing back my ex husband. No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Ogaga is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person, It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles, I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn’t face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he brake up with me again. I was confuse and do not no what to do again, rather them to get in contact with Dr Ogaga . He did a love spell that make my husband come back to me. we are now very much happy with our self. Dr Ogaga make him to realize how much we love and need each other. This man is for REAL and for good, he can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well, in our love life. Contact

    Email: drogagalovespell@gmail.com

    WhatsApp: +2347059387282

    Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/drogagalovespell

  30. HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK WITH THE HELP OF PRIEST WISDOM CONTACT ON WHATS_APP NUMBER +2348124644470

    This is my testimony about the good work of priest wisdom who helped me … I’m Ann Earnis from North Carolina USA. And am sorry for putting this on net but i will have to, by this world best spell caster that brought back my husband who left me out for past 3 years, i eventually met this man on a blog site posting by one of is client for help, i explained everything to him and he told me about a spell caster that he had heard about and he gave me an email address to write to the spell caster to tell him my problems. In just 1 days, my husband was back to me. I just want to say thank you to this truthful and sincere spell caster, sir all you told me have come to pass and thank you sir. Please I want to tell everyone who is looking for any solution to their problem, I advise you to kindly consult this spell caster, he is real, he is powerful and whatever the spell caster tells is what will happen, because all what the spell caster told me came to pass. You can kindly contact him on: his email address is Supernaturalspell1@gmail.com or directly on whats-app +2348124644470 https://supernaturalspell21.blogspot.com/
    facebook page: https://web.facebook.com/watch/PRIESTWISDOM11/ .//….

  31. EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL TO GET EX HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND OR EX WIFE/GIRLFRIEND AND CURE HERPES AND INFERTILITY THAT WORKS WITHIN 24 HOURS.

    Contact Dr. Odunga at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com OR Whats App/CALL +2348167159012

    I got my ex husband back to me and also got fertile and gave birth to twin girls after 12 years of marriage.
    When I came online last year, I saw a testimony about Doctor ODUNGA and how he has been helping people with marriage issues and I decided to contact him. We spoke on email at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com and later he gave me his WhatsApp number which is +2348167159012. He assured me he would help me get my ex husband back after 3 years of no contact. Doctor Odunga is the best spell caster I must say. My husband called me after 24 hours of contact. The third day, I received natural herbs for fertility and after using it, I became fertile and conceived. I and my husband reconnected, had sex and I was pregnant. Presently I am happy to say I am the mother of twin girls and this is ALL THANKS TO DOCTOR ODUNGA. I came online to say this If you need help, I believe you are saved with this man.

    Contact his email at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com

    OR Whats App/Call +2348167159012 and you too will give a testimony too to help others

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