14 Simple Steps Toward Happiness in 2014

My theme for this year (if you’re not sick of it already) is to be kind to myself, to take better care of myself emotionally, physically and spiritually. I mentioned in an earlier post that this attitude has, unexpectedly, made me more productive and efficient. As you might imagine, it has also made me way more happy.

happy
Photo Credit: Purple Sherbet Photography, Creative Commons

My gut says being “kind” to myself won’t look the same for me over the entire year; and that my path to being kind to myself will look different from yours—but these small, seemingly insignificant ways I’m caring for myself are ushering in tiny, very significant moments of joy to my life.

Again, they’re very simple, but that’s part of the beauty.

It makes me realize how happiness might not be as complicated or illusive as I once thought.

As you read, be thinking of what your own “happiness list” might look like. What would be on it? Chances are, as you make a mental or actual list, you’ll find the contents are quite simple.

You may start to wonder why you haven’t been being kind to yourself all along.

1. Sleeping

I’ve been letting myself sleep as long as I need it. Of course, many days, I have to be up at a certain time. But I also make space for naps during the day when I feel like it, I sleep in on the weekends, and I go to bed on time. I don’t guilt myself for needing more sleep. I figure if my body asks for it, I should probably give it.

2. Taking break from “working out”

I’ve been a running girl, typically, and the “runners high” is no joke. For the past few years I’ve been borderline addicted—running most days of the week. Recently though, I’ve just decided to give my body a break. Instead, I do yoga, or go for walks, or do something else that is active and fun.

3. Buying full-price

This might seem strange, but after years (and years and years) of bargains shopping, I’ve realized that having one item I really love is better than having three items that don’t quite fit the need or desire.

4. Supplements

I’ve just been taking a few vitamins that I never gave myself permission to buy before. I figure, as I nourish my body, it can’t help but make me more effective in all areas of my life.

5. Refusing to diet

I actually eat pretty healthy. I’m just not dieting. I eat all the chocolate and drink all the red wine I want. But I also eat plenty of fresh vegetables, and try to buy quality ingredients. When I eat quality ingredients, it always seems like less is more.

6. Using lotion

This seems dumb, but I bought some nice lotion, and I use it every morning. Something about the ritual of putting it on each day helps me stay connected to the parts of my body that usually get neglected in the winter. And it’s occurred to me recently how crazy it is that I neglected the largest organ in my body (skin) for so long.

7. Rejecting guilt

I’m rejecting guilt—from myself, and from others—as a strategy to get me to change my actions. Guilt is a powerful motivator, it just isn’t always a positive motivator, and what I’m finding is that I felt guilty a lot. In all that space where guilt used to be, I’m practicing empathy instead.

8. Investing in friendships

I don’t know where I got this idea, but somehow I was walking around with the unspoken assumption that work was my primary responsibility in life, and relationships were secondary (if I had time). That assumption led me to a place I didn’t like very much. This year, I’m investing myself fully in seeking out and growing relationships with people I care deeply for.

9. Being generous

Research shows that being generous actually makes you happier, so I’m treating myself to some absurd generosity this year. You guys—giving things to other people is so much fun!!

10. Quitting diet coke

In a way, Diet Coke made me happy, but mostly I was just addicted and it made me feel like crap. So I quit.

11. Taking a whole weekend

The past few weekends of this year I’ve taken the whole weekend (novel concept) to do whatever I want. I honestly can’t remember the last time in my life I did that, but it’s been heavenly. It’s amazing how much more productive my work week becomes, and how much more I have to offer the world, when I’m rested and happy.

12. Slowing down

I tend to move really fast. But lately I’m just allowing myself to slow down a little. Or, as one blog-reader described it, “to experience life, rather than just consume it.”

13. Taking long showers

All I can say is this: Sometimes it feels like all is lost, but really you just need to take a shower.

14. Choosing to be happy

For most of my life,  I didn’t think it was possible to make this choice. Truthfully. I was always waiting for my circumstances to make me happy, or my friends to make me happy, or my job to make me happy. I rode the wave of my mood swings and my emotions. These days, I’ve just decided to start practicing the choice of happiness. It doesn’t always work. But happiness, I’m finding, is a little bit like a muscle, and I’m learning to flex it.

LET'S BE FRIENDS!

No, seriously, we can be friends...we can email back and forth and everything! :) 

Please enter your name.
Please enter a valid email address.
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.
Posted in
mm

Allison Fallon

I write books. I help people write books. I believe a regular practice of writing can change your life.

11 thoughts on “14 Simple Steps Toward Happiness in 2014”

  1. How do you get over the feeling guilty? I feel guilty all day long. I feel guilty if I don’t go run. I feel guilty if the kids don’t eat healthy. I feel guilty if I don’t eat healthy. I feel guilty if I just want to sit and read…. blah blah blah, it’s really frustrating.

    1. mm

      Stephanie — great question, although I don’t think there is an easy answer.

      But the thing I’ve done to get over guilt is spell out the train of logic I’m subconsciously following. In other words, next time you sit down to read, ask yourself: why do I feel guilty? What do I feel guilty about? Usually, the logic that follows is faulty. You might feel like you’re ignoring your kids (except they’re napping), or that you’re neglecting your responsibilities (except everything is done), or that someone else is going to be angry with you for resting (except they likely won’t).

      When you follow the logic, but the logic doesn’t make sense… it helps you to let go of that unhelpful pattern.

      I hope that makes sense.

  2. Love this! Simple but profound. It’s amazing how feeling guilty for sleeping in or skipping a workout can alter an entire day…focusing on a couple of things that weren’t accomplished only to completely ignore a number of things that were. Too much pressure to do it ALL and we place that pressure on ourselves. I relate completely to #14, I’ve realized recently that I started allowing my circumstances to dictate my happiness & instead of making changes, it’s so much easier to slip into whatever mood I feel like. It affects those around me just as much, if not more, than myself. Thanks for sharing!

  3. I love this; as a shopper, I get the full price thing! I think i’m in between on that one. I love getting a bunch of beautiful things in a thrift store for 60 bucks or buying a bunch of expensive things in an upscale thrift store for not much. The bargain itself is thrilling for me. But recently I bought something “full price” at TJ Maxx, where I bought an item for $40. It did feel good, as I hadn’t spent that much on an item in a long time, though I do make an exception occasionally for shoes or handbags. Great post.

  4. I love the simplicity of your list. When I feel stuck or frustrated or negative, I think “what will make me happy in this moment”…sometimes it is a nap or 30 minutes with a good book. Another favorite is looking at my Instagram feed (or my kids’s feeds)…random moments that remind me that I have a good life.

  5. I love all of these suggestions and have made many of these changes in my life, also. On February 1st, I will be giving up Diet Coke. I am terrifyingly addicted. I’ve tried and failed before, but I’m really, really going to give it a go this time. Thanks for your blog.

  6. R EMU WHO HELP PEOPLE IN ANY TYPE OF LOTTERY NUMBERS
    It is a very hard situation when playing the lottery and never won, or keep winning low fund not up to 100 bucks, i have been a victim of such a tough life, the biggest fund i have ever won was 100 bucks, and i have been playing lottery for almost 12 years now, things suddenly change the moment i came across a secret online, a testimony of a spell caster called dr emu, who help people in any type of lottery numbers, i was not easily convinced, but i decided to give try, now i am a proud lottery winner with the help of dr emu, i won $1,000.0000.00 and i am making this known to every one out there who have been trying all day to win the lottery, believe me this is the only way to win the lottery.

    Contact him on email Emutemple@gmail.com
    What’s app +2347012841542
    https://web.facebook.com/Emu-Temple-104891335203341

  7. I suffered from what they called peripheral artery disease (PAD). I have been suffering for years, Me and my wife searched for a medical cure, and then we came across a testimony of a man who suffered the same and was cured by Dr Chief Lucky. So my wife and I contacted Dr Chief Lucky via an email and thank God he replied. I explained what was wrong and he sent me herbal medicines that helped heal me completely. I am happy to say that herbal medicine is the ultimate and Dr Chief Lucky I am grateful. You can contact him on his email: chiefdrlucky@gmail.com or whatsapp: +2348132777335, Facebook page: http://facebook.com/chiefdrlucky or website: https://chiefdrlucky.com/. Dr Chief Lucky said that he also specializes in the following diseases: LUPUS, ALS, CANCER, HPV, HERPES, DIABETES, COPD, HEPATITIS B, HIV AIDS, And more.

  8. EFFECTIVE LOVE SPELL TO GET EX HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND OR EX WIFE/GIRLFRIEND AND CURE HERPES AND INFERTILITY THAT WORKS WITHIN 24 HOURS. WIN LOTTERY POWERBALL/MEGAMILLIONS 100% GUARANTEED

    Contact Dr. Odunga at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com OR Whats App/CALL +2348167159012

    I got my ex husband back to me and also got fertile and gave birth to twin girls after 12 years of marriage.
    When I came online last year, I saw a testimony about Doctor ODUNGA and how he has been helping people with marriage issues and I decided to contact him. We spoke on email at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com and later he gave me his WhatsApp number which is +2348167159012. He assured me he would help me get my ex husband back after 3 years of no contact. Doctor Odunga is the best spell caster I must say. My husband called me after 24 hours of contact. The third day, I received natural herbs for fertility and after using it, I became fertile and conceived. I and my husband reconnected, had sex and I was pregnant. Presently I am happy to say I am the mother of twin girls and this is ALL THANKS TO DOCTOR ODUNGA. I came online to say this If you need help, I believe you are saved with this man.

    Contact his email at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com

    OR Whats App/Call +2348167159012 and you too will give a testimony too to help others

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

10 − 4 =

Scroll to Top

My new book is available for pre-order!

Discover the power of (finally) getting unstuck, claiming your clarity, and becoming the person whose life you want to live—all through a simple self-care practice you can build into your daily routine.